The first girl in my friend group who go married, which was very soon after college graduation, we did an overnight beach trip.
We had seven girls staying in a double room and we paid for the brides dinner and drinks out. And at that time it felt like a stretch. More recently I have done bridal showers to Vegas and Florida. Each of those required flights, multi night stays etc. I think it really depends on where everyone is in there life.
I personally am 27, no kids, full time professional job, and am still sort of iffy on the price since I am having to fly to Chicago twice, buy the dress, etc. I think that's my own personal issue - if I was spending $500 to go to California or Las Vegas, I don't think I'd be whining this much.
For the expensive multi night trips, what was done- in advance of everyone committing- is the maid of honor sent out an email basically being like here is what we are planning and then outlined the cost for those things.
People knew what they were agreeing to.
Yet I am still all for having an affordable bridal shower where everyone can pay for a small portion of the cost. That means having a bridal shower that works for everybody. For example lingerie showers are usually a lot cheaper. And they are more party orientated.
People who felt that it was too much said from the start they wouldn't be going so there was drop outs the week of. Once a more solid number was together, then we went back and looked at what the actual cost of things would be and what maybe was not feasible.
I would talk to the other girls and see what their budgets are.
That is the easiest/best way to see what they can afford. However, if you have a 22 year old (which I am reading as broke college student or recent grad) and another person where $200 is a large expense, then I think the current plan is out. If this is something the bride wants/planned then unfortunately you need to have the tough conversation of saying look- this just isn't feasible based on the number of people who are going.
Bridal showers parties largely depend on everyone's budget.
Like, my girls and I are recent university graduates, we don't have a huge budget so instead of doing a big, fancy international trip, we're probably going bowling, getting pizza, and having a slumber party because that's all we can realistically afford.
The problem that I've seen happen time and time again is that people plan these events without consulting the budgets of others and then people start to pull out due to the cost which upsets the bride and everyone else who's costs go up. My personal opinion is that it is way too much money to ask a friend to spend on a bridal showers outing.
If the bride is really set on renting a big party, she should pay for it herself.
If I knew that one of my maids was struggling financially, I would try to keep the costs as low as possible. If she is not involved in the planning, she may just be blissfully unaware of all these issues.
I think it would be fine to bring it up with her.